Talking About Your Past Relationships with Colombian Women

Not all of us have luck finding our ultimate life partners in just one shot. Truth is, a lot of us have been from one relationship to the other. Whether we like it or not, we have been through the cycle of being hurt, going through the healing process, and falling in love again.

When you’re dating one of the Colombian women who you met at a Colombian Cupid site, talking about your past relationships will inevitably come up. While you don’t need to be an open book to your new sweetheart, but if you spill out more than she needs to know, you’ll risk waving white flag for your relationship.

You both have handled past romantic relationships differently; so when time comes for you to talk about it, you need to know how, what, and what not to say. Here’s your guide when talking about your past relationships:

Timing means everything

Obviously, you shouldn’t talk about exes on the first date. There’s a right time for everything, and while only you can determine when that is, better establish a comfort level between you and your partner first.

You don’t want her thinking you haven’t gotten over your ex yet by talking about your past relationship too early. Even when the time comes to discuss your exes, you still need to tread lightly.

Oversharing

It’s possible that your Colombian date would bring up the topic of her past and even ask about yours. In this case, the rule of the thumb is just to answer her based on her level of curiosity and not more than that. Sharing beyond that puts you at risk for an argument.

On the flip side, you don’t raise questions to ask a Colombian girl that you yourself are afraid or uncomfortable to answer. Sure, there will be a part of you wanting to know the answer, but make sure that you don’t push her for answers.

Don’t compare her to your ex...

....or you’ll regret this forever—even if you didn’t mean it. For instance, your new Colombian sweetheart prepared a breakfast which your ex also used to prepare for you. If you Impulsively comment on how your ex prepares it differently, those words could hurt her .

When dating Colombian women, the new relationship won’t go any further if your partner thinks that your ex is the benchmark and may even regard her as a rival. Triggering her insecurity should be the last thing you do to a woman. The worst case scenario is she might not help but doubt herself when around you.

Your past made you who you are

You can’t deny how your exes also shaped who you are in the present and may have influenced you for the better. But in all honesty, when you’re hurt by someone closest to your heart, you build your own kind of defenses to prevent you from further pain. For this reason, you should try to go through the healing process before you meet Colombian women to date.

If the pain’s still there even after undergoing the healing process, your current date will most likely see through it. If she does notice it, be a gentleman in explaining to her why you act the way you do. You may not help but feel constant fear should things not work out between the two of you.

Once you explain to her what keeps you guarded, she might be more considerate and even help you get over your fears.

Share about health-related problems affected by previous relationships

This may be a very uncomfortable topic, but it’s important that you let her know about health issues that affected your previous relationship which still affects you today. This might be health issues like STIs, inability to have children, or to perform certain activities.

Being open to this kind of topic will help put the both of you on the same page, no matter how uncomfortable it is to talk about. If anything, it can even help you two make things work better.

Own up to your cheating history

...that is if you have one (or a couple of cheating records). Sooner or later, she might figure out your history. If your Colombian woman finds out from other sources instead of from you, chances are she’ll

lose trust in you. Of course, you would not want that to happen.

Better yet, go ahead and own it. But make sure she knows you don’t do this anymore. Open communication involves sharing your vulnerability, which will help you establish trust.

Your share of anxiety and depression issues

If you aim to be more intimate with her, give her a glimpse of what's going on in your mind. This is especially true if you’re dating a Colombian woman in America or in Colombia who you are seriously pursuing. It’s important that you share about your mental health issues.

If she’s the right person for you, she may even support you in the healing process. That includes dealing with PTSD and other trauma related mental issues.

Set aside the stigma that men should show vulnerability. A mature woman looks for a genuine life partner who is not afraid to share his vulnerabilities. Plus, it helps her become more comfortable with you. That’s because showing her that you also have a weak side will make her open about hers, too.

Why you broke with your ex and what you learned

This is so the both of you can avoid repeating the same mistakes in the past. For example, you may say your ex never used to pick up on the small things you share to her even if they matter to you making you feel insignificant most of the time. That will serve as her guide.

When sharing what you learned about your past relationship, don’t tell it in a nostalgic nor ignorant way. Assure to her that what you now have with her matters to you more and that you really want to make things work between you and her.

Everything Will Fall Into Its Rightful Place

You can never so play safe when talking about your past relationships with Colombian women. Sometimes, your most harmless answer can be misinterpreted in the exact opposite. But that doesn’t mean you should completely avoid talking about exes. Just keep in mind doing it the right way.